Diary of a Mutt
Starring...
Bingo, the wonder dog!
Sweet Little Kitty
Thursday, maybe
Things were a lot more peaceful five years ago. I was top dog and that was that. We didn't even have a fish yet. Then one day Mom and Anna brought home 2 pounds of furry cat. "Be gentle with the sweet little kitty, Bingo," they said. My life has never been the same.
About a week after he got here, the Sweet Little Kitty turned into Attack Cat. He weighs 12 pounds now -- 12 pounds of fur, fat*, claws and teeth. I'll be sitting on the rug, minding my own business, and suddenly the cat will walk by and launch himself onto my neck in a death grip. Luckily, I have a lot of fur so he usually doesn't bite skin. But every once in a while... let's just say he's discovered that my ears are quite tender.
I don't know why he likes to attack me so much.** I've never bitten him, even once.
* Note from Apollo the Cat: That's not fat --
it's stored energy.
** Another note: I'm not attacking you -- I'm seeing if the rest of you is ripe
yet.
Kibbles
Could be a Friday
I love cat kibbles. Mom buys different flavors -- crunchy tuna (shaped like little fish), crab cake (shaped like little cakes), and even chicken (shaped like little chickens, though they look more like little ducks to me). Every night before bed Mom gives me and Apollo each a small handful. If she forgets, then we follow her upstairs and sit in the bathroom and watch her brush her teeth. We are very patient. And then she goes downstairs muttering, "Oh brother, I forgot -- it's snack time."
Even though I don't like it when the cat bites me, it is nice of him to share his treats with me.*
* Note from Apollo the Cat: It wasn't my idea to share -- it was Mom's. I just can't open the ziplock bag by myself.
On A Short Leash
Monday, I think
When I was a pup, I had a "Bad Dog" habit. Whenever Mom tied me up outside a store or the library and said, "I'll be right back, Bingo. You be a good boy!" and then went inside, I would bite through my leash and follow her in.
Mom was never as happy to see me as I was to see her.
"Bingo!" she'd cry, and have to put down her library books or her grocery basket and go outside and tie the two pieces of the leash (the piece that was still attached to the tree and the piece that was attached to my collar) together and say, "Now stay right there and I mean it!"
My leash got shorter and shorter until Mom had to get a new one. This time she got a metal one and it hurt my teeth to bite, so I stopped. But Mom didn't like lugging it around -- she said it was heavy, so after about a year she bought another one -- snazzy red -- but I don't bite through it anymore because I'm a big dog now.*
*Note from Apollo the Cat: A cat doesn't need a leash -- we go where we please.
All Washed Up
Looks like a Tuesday
Well, it's raining. I don't like rain -- it washes away all the smells. I don't like getting my feet wet, either. Speaking of wet, I had the worst kind of wet today...
Mom took me to the Beauty Parlor. We were met at the door by a nice lady holding a dripping wet chi-wa-wa.* She said I was a nice dog and gave me a cookie. I liked all the smells, though I didn't like the water part. (The only kind of water I like is trying to bite it as it comes out of the garden hose.) And I didn't like it when she cleaned my ears -- it tickled! But what I really didn't like is when Mom left. She always says "Be a good boy, Bingo. I'll see you soon!"
I always worry she'll forget and leave me there** but she always comes back.
* Note from Apollo the Cat: That's not how you
spell
** Another note: I had the same thought, myself...
Lions of the Kalahari
Probably Wednesday
Me and Mom and Dad were watching a nature show last night* about all the animals who come to the Okavango Delta after it floods. It was a really exciting program.**
There were baby crocodiles and birds and elephants and lots of hoofed animals like deer, and there was this pack of wild dogs who ganged up and hunted this deer thing (I couldn't see what kind it was – it was sunset on the Okavango) and then just as they were starting to eat, a group of lions walked over and scared all the dogs off.
Mom looked over at me and said, "See, Bingo, even in
* Note from Apollo the Cat: No you weren't, you
were asleep in your little dog bed.
** Another note: I heard you snoring.
*** One more Cat Comment: You got that right, buddy.
Road Trip
Any day's a good day for a road trip!
I like to go in the car with my family. I don't even care where we are going, I just want to come along. Mom opens the back hatch of the station wagon and says, "Up, Bingo!" and I leap in.* Then we drive off.
Mom likes to talk to me while we're driving. She says, "Sit down, Bingo. All I can see in my rear-view mirror is your fat head." And if Anna is in the back seat, she likes to talk to me, too. She says, "Quit panting on me -- you have dog breath!"
We go to the forest to go hiking or to the beach to walk on the sand. Sometimes we go to the vet's, which I don't like, but Mom always buys me a treat when the vet is done. I like to go in the car!**
* Note from Apollo the Cat: You don't leap. Cats
leap. Dogs scramble in a most ungainly manner.
** Another note: For a cat, nothing good ever comes at the end of a car trip.
Mowing the Lawn
I
love to help Dad in the yard. First he clears away the clutter -- anything he
doesn't want sucked into the lawn mower, including my green tennis ball and my
big bone. Sometimes he throws the green tennis ball across the yard and I run
after it making my happy dog noise: “Woo woo woo!”
Then
he wheels out the lawnmower and pulls the string to make the engine start. He
goes round and round and the patch of tall soft grass gets smaller and smaller,
but I sit in it anyway, chewing on my big bone* and listening to him say,
"Move, Bingo," and I move a little bit with my bone until he says,
"Move, Bingo," again.
Woo woo woo! I love to sit in the sunshine and help Dad and chew on my bone.
*Note from Apollo the Cat: The dog may get the bone, but
the cat gets the lap.
Home
My Books
A Bit About Me
For The Classroom
My Pets
Contact Me